ginaphur

April 21st (Braves 3, Nationals 7)
Alfonso “I don’t want to play left field” Soriano was on fire last night, with 3 homers and a double, scoring the first run and the last 3 of the night.  The Braves have always had trouble hitting Patterson and last night was no exception.  I can’t believe he hasn’t recorded a win against us yet.  McCann did well against him (2 singles and a double) but if nobody else can hit you home it’s only good for personal stats.  Pena, Orr, and Betemit managed to add some hits to McCann’s in the 8th and the 3-run game-tying inning was nice, even if the tie was incredibly short-lived. 

Smoltz seems to always be the one with the rain delayed starts and they’re never that good.  He performed respectably under the circumstances.  If we could hit Patterson it might have been good enough.

Remlinger allowed the go-ahead run to score on a wild pitch.  We would have put one of the kids in if we wanted that to happen.  Remlinger is supposed to have the experience not to let that happen.  I know the ball was wet. . . so?  Shortly thereafter IDWTPLF Soriano broke it wide open and the Braves, with Cordero's help, went quietly in the 9th. The bullpen is doing what the bullpen does, tainting a starting outing.  The rain had picked up by the late innings but these antics seem to go on even when conditions are favorable. They throw a few pitches and they’re out of there.  

Pena looked great at SS again, making multiple nice plays.  Our outfield, of course, also made great plays on the wet field, Langerhans made a nice diving catch and Andruw almost made his.  

I want a lights-out reliever.  Hell, I’d like a lights-dimming reliever.  

I started thinking that it really wasn’t fair to advise Lindsay to lose the peace sign without giving her some alternatives. She really likes to use those fingers, evidently, so I started there.

Option 1:  I would love to see her Do the Wiggum.  I know it’s not a white powder but I still think any one of those knobby fingers will fit up either nostril.  And it will no doubt appeal to the Disney set if she hasn’t decided to jettison them completely yet.

Option 2:  She seems to be an experienced bandwagon jumper so maybe she should hop aboard the NCAA Football 2005 National Championship Texas Longhorn Express. This has the added benefit of perhaps helping her put another notch in what’s left of her bedpost as Matthew McConaughey is a major fan. Hook-em Horns!

Option 3:  I think wielding some “finger guns” could also convey all the cheese a pre-fab princess could ever need. 

Option 4:  Finally, I also think she should consider the “world’s smallest violin” hand gesture in light of her comments like "I'm an 18-year-old girl and I've dealt with so many things in this past year."  (Source)  So have millions of other people of both sexes and various ages and most don’t have the money she has to buffer the pain.  Play on, little violins, play on!
 

It’s nice to know that we can discount anything Lindsay says about her future career plans.  The constant incorrect leaks reek of desperation.

Lindsay Lohan may be about to score a role in "MI3" with Tom Cruise. Lindsay told KIIS FM radio in L.A. on Monday that she could be heading to China soon to film a big movie, adding, "'Mission Impossible 3.' Shhhh. You're the first ones I've told." 

Well, later that day she told "Access Hollywood" that she'd met with the director, J.J. Abrams, for a televised interview aired on Tuesday, May 17. She also said she was a "huge fan of ... 'Lost' and 'Alias,'" also done by Abrams. You can also add Cruise to the mutual adoration society. He is said to be interested in Lohan because he is a big fan of her debut album, "Speak." [He would be!]

"It's kind of an incredible feeling, I'm scared. If I do 'Mission: Impossible 3' that is going to be so exhilarating," she says. "I just can't wait to do stunts and get all into it. I'll be in training for a few weeks, putting on some muscles."  Source

Teen-star Lindsay Lohan is over the moon with joy these days as she has been chosen by fashion giant Chanel to be their new face.

The "Mean Girls" star, who met with the label's designer Karl Langerfield this month, said that she was ecstatic over the thought of working with the designer.

"I'm so excited. I think it's for a magazine. I'm shooting with Karl Lagerfeld! It's amazing," Contactmusic quoted her, as saying.  Source

Lindsay Lohan is set to become the face of Louis Vuitton. The 'Mean Girls' star will replace Leonardo DiCaprio's ex, Gisele Bundchen.

An insider said: "She just got asked to be in the ads and she's going to say yes.

"She's really excited."  Source

Take your own advice:  Shhhh, Lindsay!

Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay.
Let’s talk, girl.

It’s about your posing and this chat is way overdue. Being the media whore darling that you are, I know you imagine that you have a lot of time to fill in front of the cameras.  And I know you’re disappointed that you didn’t popularize the Paris pose that even embryos are using for their sonogram pics nowadays (at least after they have grown the required appendages).  So I see where you’re going here. You have to have a pose, right?  
    
But this peace sign (or victory sign or whatever that V sign represents to you) that you’re attempting to work is played.  So played.  Not the concept of peace or the hope for victory, mind you, but rather the splayed, bony fingers of a preening young actress/model/singer/future Surreal Life housemate hijacking the gesture for publicity. 

Give peace a rest, Lindsay!  You’ll thank me later.

And I know you’ve been dabbling with blowing kisses lately.  I actually love the idea of blowing kisses! But the devil’s in the details. You see, blowing kisses is not really about puckering your lips together as tightly as you can and sticking said pucker as far out from your face as possible.  Such exaggerated facial contortions are never flattering. And by the way, dear, you close your eyes for real kisses, not for blowing them.

Check out these pics below. See! Once upon a time you could blow kisses and look normal, even pretty. But your kissy-face has evolved to the point that you look like a constipated, although very attractive, chimp.  

Let’s do a little compare and contrast.  Debra Messing, a redhead who doesn’t feel the need to constantly screw with her hair, is also fond of blowing kisses.  Have your people take notes. Open eyes.  A delicate pucker.  Very nice.  Sweet, and a little sexy.

That’s my public service announcement for today. I hope you’ll take my words to heart.

PS - Do you kiss every guy body in Hollywood with that exaggerated pucker? 

Related links: History of the Peace Sign

Is this the face everyone makes when being hugged by a chimp?
Or is this just the face that actresses think everyone makes when being hugged by a chimp?

Ass-flashing aside Lindsay, maybe you should just not run at all unless those shots are going to editing.  It doesn't appear to be a good look for you.



Thanks!

April 7th, 2006 (Braves 14, Giants 6)
The Braves win a wild, sloppy one in San Francisco after a nearly 2 hour rain delay.  The field was a giant green and brown slip’n’slide.  Bonds and Moises Alou were pulled from the game before the start, a smart and necessary move since the outfield, obviously, got the worst of the rain. Everyone knows it’s the kids who should be playing on the slip’n’slide.

Kyle Davies gave up 3 runs in the first but settled down nicely, getting the ball down, and got through 5 innings with no further damage.  Joey Devine did NOT give up a grand slam but he did give up a walk and 2 hits, one of them a two-run homer, in a third of an inning, starting off his year with an 81.0 ERA. I desperately want that kid to have a great outing!

Langerhans looks great this year, both in the field and at the plate.  He went 3 for 5 with 2 singles and a homer, and was perfect in the outfield.  Rentoria also hit a homerun in his 2nd at-bat.

Of course the win was mostly due to Giants’ pitching completely losing the strike zone in the seventh inning.  Not just misplaced, it was lost and stayed lost for an incredibly long and frustrating inning for them. 6 walks, 8 runs, and even Francoeur got on base.  If you can’t hit it, at least get in front of it.  He gets an RBI for it since the bases were loaded – let’s hope that helps him get in the groove. . . please.

And Bobby Cox got ejected for the first time this year, just prior to the 7th inning antics.  Good job Bobby!  Way to get that first ejection under your belt so early in the season!

Braves Win 14-6.

SEX, 1 . the body's single effort to make something out of nothing is resident in sex, and in this culture at our time sex is a degraded and nasty thing which must be hidden at best and babies are something not to have but to be prevented. -- Dianetics and Scientology Technical Dictionary by L. Ron Hubbard
Excerpted from:  http://www.st83.org/info/techdic/s_tec.htm

Too bad Tom Cruise didn't follow this rule. Or maybe if you're an OTVII you are exempt from this guideline.

I admit that I look at too many celebrity photos.  I like to see what everyone’s wearing.  It’s not only celebrities.  I like to see what the regular folk wear too.  I people watch when I’m out and I love to see what my friends, family and co-workers wear as well.  I don’t care whether it’s designer or vintage or a blue light special.  I know what I like and I don’t need anyone else to dictate that to me.

Let me reiterate that I like to see what they’re wearing, not what they’re not wearing. 

I suppose I am just going to have to accept that exposed nipples have become a trend among overexposed celebrities.  Just because I’m so bourgeois as to wear a bra (or, if an outfit won’t allow me to, then I make sure nothing escapes) is no reason to expect that behavior from others.  Of course, my boobs are real but maybe implants are a different animal altogether, one that craves the open air. Anyway, after enduring a barrage of nip-slips, like I said, I'm now willing to let them slide. 

I often hear complaints from celebrities about photographers following them, chasing them, making them crash their cars, and generally not giving them any privacy when they’re out in public. I know it’s a bitch but it comes with the territory and since they complain about it, it follows that they should expect to be photographed when they’re out, like it or not. I don’t expect them to be made up and dressed to the hilt for a grocery store run but I do expect them to WEAR UNDERWEAR if they’re wearing a short skirt or something with a high slit when they’re out in public.

Versace does make underwear, you know.

You have to know that people are going to try for the upskirt shot. And it just doesn’t take that long to put some underwear on. It’s well worth the time you invest in the procedure. I don’t care if it’s pretty. I don’t care if it’s clean. That little strip of fabric has a purpose and that purpose (among others) is to keep me from stumbling across a high-res shot of your little friend. I don’t want to know if you shave it bald, cut little designs into it or leave it au naturel. Unfortunately, a simple scroll through some picture posts and I have way too much personal hygiene information about some of you.

You know who you are.  Let’s just see that it doesn’t happen again.

And let this be a warning to those of you who just haven’t gotten caught yet.

Just in case you don't actually own any:

http://www.barenecessities.com/Panties-Versace_catalog_nxs,32,vendor,12498.htm

http://www.barenecessities.com/Panties-D--G_catalog_nxs,32,vendor,8914.htm

http://www.raffaello-network.com/english/fashion-product-list/566/roberto-cavalli-underwear-womens.html

SPIEGEL:      Why do you go so extremely public about your personal convictions?
Cruise:           I believe in freedom of speech. I felt honored to have volunteer Scientology ministers on the set. They were helping the crew. When I'm working on a movie, I do anything I can to help the people I'm spending time with. I believe in communication.

http://churchofscientology.blogdrive.com/

Umm, yeah.  You believe in freedom of speech for yourself but not for Trey Parker and Matt Stone.  I believe in communication too, Tom.  Listen closely. . .that's the sound of my money being spent on anything other than you.